A Mental Reframing: My Journey Beyond Programming

What I’ve been experiencing lately feels like a full mental transformation. A reframing of how I see the world we’re in—and the world beyond it. The only way I can make this clear is to write it straight from my own journey.

For much of my life, especially in my late 30s, my path has been about finding myself while dismantling the programming I inherited. The programming of society, education, and systems. A few days ago I asked myself: how did I even get here? To this way of thinking?

I realized I’ve always been good at noticing patterns, and at sensing when I’m being lied to. What I once enjoyed, I began to see were just distractions. When those things stopped feeding me, I started questioning not only them—but even my own desires. Because the programming starts early. We’re told to follow A-B-C with little encouragement to think outside the lines. That’s just the surface layer of it.

I stepped off that path. Even with a master’s degree, I can’t say it taught me how to think for myself. Not deeply. Not critically. Society celebrates groupthink, not independent thought. And yet my joy and power live outside those constructs. I could never find peace in what was simply “put before me.”

So I searched for what lies beyond. Beyond the obvious systemic issues. Beyond what’s mainstream. I wanted to know the “why” behind the “why”—the truths that are kept hidden. And here’s the hard truth: there is knowledge locked away, serving only to maintain white power.

To challenge my own programming took courage. I’ve had to walk a middle path, guided only by my North Star: truth. And I’ve had to accept that truth might shatter my old beliefs. That it may come in ways I’ve never considered. I’m okay with changing my mind. I’ve found joy in what hides in the cracks of society, in the unpopular, in the forbidden. And it has given me permission to learn again.

From studying secret societies to exploring worlds before this one, I’ve discovered that knowledge is infinite. That intellect isn’t just what’s taught in a classroom—it exists on multiple levels. There’s academic intellect, but there’s also another layer: spiritual, divine, expansive. That’s the one I’m chasing.

As I keep learning, I realize more than ever: we’re all just playing roles in a larger prophecy. To know thyself is to see beyond the illusions. Politics, government, mainstream distractions—they exist only because we feed them our attention. They thrive on fear. And as long as we keep buying into fear, we stay locked in their script.

But the moment we stop giving it energy? The narrative collapses.

Pretty Lies, Ugly Truths: The Push to Pair Black Women with White Men

                                          

Black Women, We Have Been Duped.

This will always be a space for truth without the fluff. My only aim here is to get you to think beyond what’s been placed in front of you — beyond the distractions, beyond the programming.

Lately, there’s been a loud push for interracial dating — specifically Black women with white men. Twenty years ago? Even five years ago? This wasn’t the narrative. So why now?

Ask yourself: why isn’t this same push happening for other women of other cultures? Why are Black women suddenly the faces of this union — with the very men who have historically been our oppressors?

You cannot hold an oppressor accountable while lying beside him. You cannot dismantle a system you’ve chosen to join at the most intimate level.

The Agenda

We’ve mastered working in systems built by white people, but that was never the point. Their education was designed to train us into service, not free us.

Now, the same system that keeps us at the bottom is pushing to “unionize” with us. Is it love — or infiltration?

Bobby Hemmitt said it best: “Your oppressor will never announce their day of battle.” They will not come as an enemy. They will come as a friend, as an equal, offering comfort and playing to your desires, presenting themselves as “better” than Black men. When you’ve held an entire group back while elevating yourself into stolen positions of power, of course you look appealing.

Has Anything Changed?

Decades of these pairings — and has our collective global position shifted? Are these men uniting with other white men to dismantle the systems that harm us? No.

Most Black women in these relationships don’t demand accountability — especially those who’ve been given a “comfortable” life. But comfort is an illusion. Comfort breeds delusion. And delusion is exactly what keeps us from waking up.

The Truth They Hide

We are nothing like white people. We are of higher position — and they know it. That’s why they spend so much energy stealing, suppressing, and rewriting our truth. Their only hope is that you never self-actualize.

The “love is love” narrative is theirs, too. And maybe the reason our love doesn’t mirror theirs is because our love is different — rooted in a divine origin they’ve worked to erase.

This isn’t about romance. It’s about access: to your womb, your lineage, your culture, your power.

This Is Spiritual War

Remaining in this mindset is spiritual suicide. This is a calculated move — a spiritual destiny swap.

Ask yourself: when have we ever truly been safe? When has the oppressor ever provided real protection?

We’ve been fighting the wrong battles — chasing political wins and physical objectives that only recreate their stolen system with a new face. That’s low-level work.

We are greater than that.

It’s time to harness our spiritual power, reclaim what’s been stolen, and move into the spaces they’ve kept from us for far too long.

Self-Preservation or Self-Betrayal? Decoding the Push for Black Women–White Men Unions

 

Black women love to say they know when their being played, but do you really? 

Do you all not find it odd — the propaganda around Black women pairing with the oppressor?
To me, it reads like self-preservation through proximity to power — aligning with the most dominant demographic on the planet because deep down, they know they’re the weaker link, facing the potential of extinction.

And yet… now we’re supposed to see the oppressor as a mate?
Yes, there are exceptions — but let’s be real: why aren’t we treating those exceptions as the .00000001% they are? Surely it’s not as common as they’d have us believe. Still, the visibility is everywhere: content creators and public figures flaunting “glow-ups” by way of white men, as if their magic only shines once it’s been “validated” by whiteness.

It’s not amiss. They are seeking asylum in our energy. And on a deeper level, they’re seeking absolution for the atrocities of their ancestors — without doing the work to atone.

We fought, bled, and resisted for generations. Our ancestors endured horrors at their hands. And now we’re supposed to invite them into our bedrooms? No. I want us, as Black women, to normalize challenging these dynamics — because this is just one of many ways they’ve learned to infiltrate our spaces.

Ask yourself:

• Is this love, or is it performative?

• Is this relationship truly advancing you and our people, or is it strategically neutralizing you?

• Are you having real conversations about liberation, or playing your role by ignoring what’s happening around you?

It’s the age-old truth: “Talking Black while sleeping white.” Many leaders, past and present, have done exactly that. How does that serve our progress? It doesn’t — it keeps us tethered.

And let’s kill the fairytale: Love is not “just love” when power is involved. You may see romance; they may see strategy. Do you share the same lived reality? Do they materially invest in your community, in your family? Will they stand in the line of fire when their people come calling? Or is their “support” just paying bills and serving word salad about equality?

We have to wake up to who these people truly are. There’s a time and a place for union — can you honestly say this is that time?
The “future” they keep selling you is happening right now. And no matter if you marry them, you will never be one of them. You are, in essence, superior. Act like it.

Soul Over Systems: The New Blueprint for Black Women Creators

No matter what you believe in, no matter who you follow, it’s important to recognize and respect the times we’re in. We are emerging from over a decade of systematic, replicable creativity — the same recycled formulas used across industries to push people into visibility, fame, and temporary success.

But here’s the shift: that “bubble gum pop” era has expired. Not just in entertainment — but in business, culture, and systems at large. We’re entering a time where we crave something deeper, something real, something evolved - authenticity. This is why the things that once resonated no longer satisfy. The frequency has changed. And it’s demanding more from those of us who desire true sustainability, growth, and legacy-level success.

There’s no quick turnaround anymore. The frequency of success itself has been upgraded. That’s why you’re witnessing people clinging desperately to outdated models, throwing tantrums on public stages, crashing out, because what got them there no longer works. Their reign is over because their alignment expired. This is what evolution looks like. This is what the changing of an era feels like.

The new requirement? Authenticity.

But not just any authenticity — I’m talking about soul-authenticity.

This isn’t something you manufacture overnight. It’s not rooted in algorithms, gimmicks, or aesthetics. It’s forged through time, through seasons of becoming, through trials meant to refine you. It’s not the “I want it now” energy. It’s the slow, intentional cultivation of creativity rooted in truth, spirit, and purpose.

This type of creativity cannot be stolen, duplicated, or fast-tracked. It requires patience. It requires seasons. Hell — speaking from experience — it can at times require years. But that’s part of the journey.

I personally aim to create from a high spiritual frequency — to alchemize my gifts into something that will transform the world. This path isn’t for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. But some degree of this will be essential. For those who feel called to tap into their creative genius at this deeper level, understand this isn’t about hustle. It’s the complete opposite.

From my own experience, this isn’t about rushing or daily grinding. It’s about alignment, clarity, and becoming. It’s like crafting a masterpiece in pieces — working intuitively, not knowing how it all fits together just yet, but trusting that the tapestry will reveal itself in time. It’s chaos. It’s not linear. It requires you to transform into the person who can hold what you’re building.

This is the future of creativity for Black women and girls: not chasing trends, but creating timeless impact. Not rushing. Not forcing. Becoming. Curating. Refining. Alchemizing.

Because when we create from the soul, we don’t just make art — we change lives. We shift perception. We change the world.

 

Beyond Survival: It’s Time for Black Women and Girls to Lead the Future

 My words aren't for validation—they’re for liberation.

We, as Black women and girls, are standing at a pivotal point in time. A moment full of opportunity. A moment calling us to shape a future that reflects who we truly are. But no one outside of us can speak to this shift.

We are the standard-setters. The blueprint. The origin. And yet, we’ve spent generations pouring into everyone else—empowering the world—while deeply underestimating our own power. That stops now.

We’ve been trying to change society’s systems—political, communal, cultural—through reason, through voice, through logic. But let’s be honest: it hasn’t worked. Not because we aren’t powerful, but because we’ve been playing within rules designed to keep us small.

It’s time to go beyond the illusion. Beyond what’s “reasonable.”
Beyond what’s been handed to us.
It’s time to go within.
To remember who we are.
To become solution-focused, future-oriented, and self-preserving.

We are not powerless. We are the power.
When something moves, it’s because we moved it.
When culture shifts, it’s because we sparked it.
When creation happens, it’s because we birthed it.

If we keep thinking in terms of "right now," we’ll keep getting left behind.
Our advantage is in the future—in our ability to see it, shape it, and build it ourselves.
We’re not waiting on saviors.
We are the saviors.
Not because we need saving, but because we were designed to solve.

It’s time to alchemize the frustration.
Transmute pain into power.
Turn the overlooked into opportunity.

I’m focused on real solutions for Black women and girls—because we are the solution.
We are the source.
We are the ones.

So let’s stop asking. Let’s stop waiting.
Let’s create, elevate, and reclaim.
The future is wide open.
The power has always been ours.

Black Women & Girls lets Step Beyond the Loop: The Audacity to Think for Ourselves

This rising, I experienced something undeniable—a clarity that cut through the noise. I listened to a panel of powerful women who weren’t just talking solutions—they were the solutions. And in that moment, I realized something that’s been whispering to me for years:

There is a loop—a spiritual, emotional, and systemic cycle—designed to keep women, especially Black women, stuck. Stuck performing. Stuck overgiving. Stuck being available to everything but our own expansion.

And here’s the wild part: men benefit when we stay in that loop.

🔴 They benefit when we’re tired.
🔴 They benefit when we’re distracted.
🔴 They benefit when we think we need them to define our worth, value, or destiny.

But what happens when a woman says:

“No more.”

What happens when she limits access to her energy—not out of pain, but out of power?

The Liberation in Limiting Access

Too often, we mistake visibility for freedom. We think showing up in every room, being everything to everyone, and being seen by a man equals success. But true liberation starts in the invisible—in the quiet choice to pull our energy back and redirect it inward.

When women, especially Black women, choose to withdraw from over-functioning, from codependent connections, from trying to prove we’re “worthy”—we begin to see clearly. That’s when the system gets shaky.

Why? Because we are the system.

✨  We are the engine.
✨  We are the architects.
✨  We are the law.

Radical Thought is Sacred Work

To even entertain a different way of living—one not centered around men, trauma, or societal approval—is radical. And rare.

But we need more women entertaining the idea that:

✨ You don’t have to earn rest.

✨ You don’t have to be palatable to be powerful.

✨ You don’t have to wait for permission to lead.

✨ You can write new laws—not just live under the old ones.

It takes audacity to shift from “surviving” to “self-authoring.” It takes imagination to design a world rooted in our needs, our healing, our rhythms.

That’s the kind of radical thought that births real change.

We Are the Blueprint

Everything around us is a remix of what women, especially Melanated women, created. And yet we’ve been taught to outsource our power, our decisions, our very thoughts. That ends now.

Let this post be an invitation—and a provocation.

If you're a woman who feels like you've been looping—emotionally, spiritually, in relationships, in work—ask yourself:

✨ What am I giving my energy to that no longer gives back?

✨ What truth have I been afraid to think?

✨ Who benefits from me staying small?

And then: choose differently.

Audacity Is the Assignment

We’ve written laws before. We’ve led revolutions before.
Now is the time to do it again—but this time for ourselves first.

This time, we write the blueprint with:

✨  Our rest at the center

✨  Our joy as the foundation

✨  Our spiritual authority guiding every step

We are not here to just inspire conversation.
We are here to shift the culture.

Let’s stop rehearsing empowerment and start embodying evolution.

Put Down The Burdens And Needs Of Everyone Else—and FOCUS ON YOU.

I’m so over the merry-go-round of relationships and marriage conversations.

I’m hoping Black women and girls truly get to a point where we collectively see how harmful and paralyzing this obsession is. From the fantasies to the fairytale movies—sis, with love, let it go. Find a way to question and get to the root of what you desire. This life promises none of us anything, let alone a “forever partner.”

I dare to ask: are you not seeing how even the most successful women are facing the same exact things the average woman deals with when it comes to men?

Do you not see the parallels in both experiences? Beyoncé herself was cheated on. Now ask yourself—what makes you any different?

Women and girls have been placed at such a disadvantage—a dangerous disadvantage—in the dating game.
Let me take it further and use a basketball analogy.

Some women were coached before they ever stepped into the gym. Those with attentive parents—especially fathers—came in with knowledge and confidence, already understanding the plays and how the game works. But the majority? They never had that conditioning. They walked into the gym trying to figure it out on the fly. Meanwhile, the men? They’ve been training for this game since boyhood.

Even women with preconditioning are up against a flood of women who came in with nothing but fairytales and hope. And men are out here running the game, winning through strategy and manipulation—taking advantage of women who have no clue about male nature or what’s really being played.

You’ve got women still playing, being coached from the sidelines by girlfriends. Then there’s another group—who starts studying the game, hoping to improve their odds. Some of them return to the manuals and try again. Others? They liberate themselves entirely by walking away and choosing not to play. That was my play.

Through personal research, experience, and hard truth—I realized the game was never built for me. It's exhausting. And even if you play well, there’s still no guarantee you’ll win.

We’ve been the target—constantly hit from every angle. The music, the media, the male gaze—all keeping us obsessed with being with someone else instead of ourselves.

Ways to Start Doing the Work:

TURN OFF THE MUSIC.

This might sound like a reach, but try it for 30 days and watch what happens. The music keeps you in the fantasy. It feeds the delusion that you’re "different" or "special"—that somehow, you’ll choose better than the next woman. Sis... you won’t. The game is deeply rigged.

Yes, I believe there are a few good men who don’t subscribe to the games—but that still doesn’t mean you should stay in it hoping to find one. Ask yourself: how many women believe that same thing? What makes you any more "special" than they are?

You could be Beyoncé, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
Too many women are lost in the dream of a man and family, without ever questioning the true nature of men. It’s scary, but if you don’t break the spell, you’ll never see it.

Most of y’all are walking through a dark alley of predators with rose-colored glasses on.
Meanwhile, women like me—who already crushed our glasses—are yelling to warn you.
But only YOU can take the glasses off.

LET GO OF THE WHAT-IFS AND CENTER YOURSELF.

Let go of the dangling carrot that keeps you on dating apps, wasting time.
I’m not saying you can’t do anything—I’m saying do everything without thinking you need male energy beside you.

Many women can’t even reach their full potential because they’re chasing a man with “one eye open,” operating from desperation.

Ask yourself: who told you a man was guaranteed in this lifetime? No one.

Nothing is promised.

What if your path is about self-actualization? What if your purpose is greater than partnership? That’s why it’s so important we turn our minds back on and question everything.

Speaking for myself, the more I’ve walked my own journey of self-actualization, the more I’ve realized this:
Everything you need—and everything you’ve ever truly desired—is already within you.

There’s nothing outside of you that’s above you.

FIX THAT NEED FOR A MAN.

How?
Learn to ground yourself. Have the courage to face the truth about male nature.
Break the damn glasses.

Have the guts to hear the hard truths.
Study men the way you’d study for a job or a research project. Learn who they are, not what they say. Sit with the facts. Let the facts challenge your beliefs.

Why do so many women reject the truth?
Because they prioritize fantasy and hope over facts.
They choose the illusion over the data.
They want to feel “special” in a rigged game—where no one is exempt.

BUT I CAN HEAL WHILE HAVING A MAN TOO…

Many women say this. But I’ve noticed—there’s always a ceiling to the growth. The healing has limits because you’re still tied to a +1 or children. That’s not to say it’s impossible, but let’s be real—it’s slower.

And I’m not here to knock women with families. We’re all on our own unique journeys.
There’s no one way to the truth. 

EVERYONE DOESN’T NEED A MAN—AND THAT’S NOT A BAD THING.

This is the part many women don’t want to hear: A man is not for everyone.
And no, this isn’t about being a lesbian either.

Some of us are here on greater missions—and a man may never bring the fulfillment you think he will. Or not in the timeframe you seek. Some of us are more powerful standing fully in our womanness—alone or with other women. 

Let this land. Let this free you.
You don’t need to play a game that was never built for you.
The path back to yourself is the most revolutionary thing you could ever choose. Its the key. Nothing outside of you will fullfill you. The peace you seek, the happiness you desire - It all resides within you.

Xo